Thursday, November 24, 2016

My writing: One more crisis(23)



A crisis is unpredictable most of the time and it hits you suddenly without realizing what happened.
This year on my birthday I decided to take the annual blood tests and I had no idea of the surprise that was coming.
Apparently out of nowhere after other multiple tests I found out that I had an autoimmune thyroid problem , called Graves disease. It just hit it me, very hard.
I searched everything I could find about it: meds, ways to treat, diet,etc. What it scares me is that it's very tricky: the meds must be taken for max 2 years, then you have to see if it works and you don't have a relapse, because if you have one you have to either take the surgical approach or the radioactive iodine.
I was shocked, in denial and didn't understand where was the positive solution. I still can't see it now, all I know is that it's disease based on stress.
If I were to make a choice today I would choose the most practical approach, the radioactive iodine, it gets you to hypothyroidism and it's way easier to treat.
But I also have to consider having kids in the future and this makes harder to choose a decision.
After my mum died I didn't want to see doctors or hospitals for some time. Now I have to make tests every 2-3 months hoping the results get better and it's stressing too.
I am in anger phase now, I don't understand why this happened to me when I was finally ready to move on.
The first week on anti thyroid meds was awful, I had been extremely tired. 
Another aspect that bothers me is that I could get more weight than I already had without knowing about it, even if I had tried different diets, sport,etc. 
At least now I understand why I was so tired, why no diet worked or why I came home crying after work many times.
I try not to stress as much as I can, to eat healthy, to have patience on the long process that I have ahead.
Maybe I will be stronger when this phase ends, but I surely didn't want any of it.



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