Powerful

It's just another December in a year when everything felt so different in many ways. 

I remember that in January 1st I was in a green field and I had no idea how this year was going to bring me back to feeling alive.

It was another year when I lost people and for some time felt the grief circle again, until I let go of anger and begin my way to acceptance.

This year tested my patience a lot and I learned how to work with my impulsive and do-er nature.

At some moment, someone told me that I'm more powerful than I realize. 

I didn't believe it at first, but this whole year proved it to me again. I struggled with physical pain, had to stop running because of it and mentally it was a tough challenge.

It made me feel like being in a cage, unable to relax in a very tiring period, having to stay still, when all I wanted was to move.

While everybody around seems to have the best time of the year, very few remember the people that are having a hard time these days.

Everybody is running to buy something and in this rush some are just looking for some ways to pass the time faster, so that they don't have to face the loneliness.

What I learned is that no matter where you run, your thoughts will follow you; the grass is not greener somewhere else and not living in the present is a waste of precious time.

Maybe if I hadn't been at the bottom last year, I wouldn't have seen it so clearly now. 

I never thought that I could see someone I care about, someone that made me feel so alive, at their lowest. Somehow I'm grateful for this trust, because this is when I understood what being powerful really meant.  

It's about all those times when you go to walk because you need to distract your mind, you eat even if you don't feel the hunger and you find no pleasure in food, you go for a run because it makes you feel happy,you count your exercises because it keeps you focused, you ask for help when you need it, you change your job just to prove yourself you can, you let yourself feel love and vulnerable.