Falling into pieces

It's getting dark and I feel like I'm falling into pieces again. 

I write ,erase,rewrite it again.

I know I'm quite close to that point where I won't be able to hold all the pieces together as I tried so much until now.

I decided to stop fighting for a while,I don't have energy left to fight,I spent it all in useless battles that only hurt me.

I need a sanctuary.

Not to escape,but to ground myself,to ease the anger and the pain,to forget for some moments, to soften all the defence mechanisms I have in place.

I need to find you,even if this still scares me because I still don't know how to explain then,now,the space,which was never meant to separate,but to give time to heal what hurt me.

I need to hear your words to understand.

It was hard to stay away when all I wanted was to be in your arms.

Can you hug me tight cause I need it the most?

And if I start crying in your arms,let me cry all those tears I couldn't cry before.

Let me feel safe again.