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It's been some years since my birthdays are not the easiest time of the year. 

Yesterday I was thinking about how I was an year ago, when anxiety hit me hard.

It's been one of the hardest years, facing grief again after the last person of my family died, with many moments of anxiety and pain.

If last year I couldn't feel a thing, this year the absence of my family on this day hit me harder than I expected. 

Why do I always think is going to be easier? 

With all the anxiety I felt I changed my job completely and learning something from 0 really helped me to move forward. 

In the days when I couldn't go to gym I started to do yoga and meditation and that helped me to stay in the now. 

It felt so good to be able to return to running and my weight workouts. 

I visited Naples, which I totally adored and being in Pompeii was a wish that came true. 

I hadn't felt so good and free in years, as I'd been in this trip. 

I fell in love and got heartbroken, a roller-coaster of feelings,that made me feel both pain and fully alive. 

During all these changes eating had been messy again with many moments of stomach pain. 

Maybe one day all this will make sense...