Is it enough?

I always had this feeling that "I'm not enough" for someone, for them, for the world.
It probably comes from a childhood, where I thought that I could be seen only if I were the best.
Nothing else was enough, but these weren't my expectations. I didn't care about awards or being first, I did like the game and wanted to be loved.
As time passed this feeling kept appearing out of the blue,leaving a bitter taste.
The world had its expectations, there was always a comparison that I heard and hated.
Why do you have to compare me to someone else?
Why can't you see me for who I am?
Even if I didn't look for others expectations of me, I did tried to reach some perfection.
I wanted a fit image in little time, to lose weight faster, hating every mistake I'd done on the way.
On those moments when I was stressed or hurt I didn't feel enough,I was failling.
And failure hurt more each time.
When the body began to hurt of stress and sleepless nights I thought I could push back and continue.
That felt like another failure, when instead I should had taken more care of me.
I don't want the world to tell me what I am or decide my enough.
I need to look at the world and decide what's enough.
I keep my freedom of choice, I get to decide my plans, I don't need to fit in a box.
Maybe my steps are smaller and my plans don't match yours, it's ok.
Maybe I'm closer today to what I want and that is more than enough for me.