You gotta feel it to heal it, baby

I'm unable to see the bigger picture these day, all I can see are fragments that make no sense.
There is a mixture of uneasy feelings that bother me. I learned that I need to let me feel all of them, instead of hiding and running.
I know these feelings are normal, but coming all at once overwhelms me.
Some of these feelings like feeling ignored and rejected are triggers of some nasty past feelings and experiences.
And when triggers happen it's like Pandora box is opened again.
This is the moment when I need to go into feelings, into the pain, the hurt and most of all the loneliness.
In these moments my sensitivity is high, control and focus are hard to reach. I still feel scared even if I know i've survived worst experiences.
Right now  I feel sad, hurt and rejected. Along with these there is the grief pain that comes in waves.
It's cold and raining, but I know I have to feel it all to heal it...