Wednesday, March 23, 2016

My Writings : Rainy Wednesday(14)

It's Wednesday, cold and raining. It's been a hard week already and all I want to do is sleep.
But there are more complicated things that need to be solved, so all I can hope for is a cup of latte and spend some time looking through the window while people are passing.
I'm not a morning person, so this kind of rainy weather doesn't help me at all. I've seen a very sad movie last night, somehow relived through it painful moments from the past and cried a lot.
It is said that crying helps you let go, I wonder how much crying do I need to let go everything that I've lived in the last years?
Most of the time I wished things were easier, I wished I didn't have to prove every little thing. But as much as I want to  I can't change the past, I just can try to heal the pain.
It should be spring and sunny, but these days is rainy and cold,more of an unwanted autumn. It remember it was like the same the day I lost you...
I really don't know why shitty things happen to good people. I don't know if it's a test they have to pass, but I got bored of tests.

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Bastarda Istanbulului- Elif Shafak

Bastarda Istanbulului este una din cele mai interesante povesti pe care le-am citit in ultima perioada.
Prezinta povestea plina de secrete a unei familii turce, conflictul turc-armean, fara a uita de importanta familiei, istoriei si iubirii.
Personajele feminine sunt puternice, traditionalul vietuieste alaturi de modern, iar descrierea Istanbulului mi-a reamintit de dorinta de a vizita acest oras.
Zeliha este cea care deschide povestea , o tanara de 19 ani, nonconformista , plina de furie, care se indreapta spre cabinetul unui doctor pentru un avort. Doar ca in final acesta nu se realizeaza, iar Zeliha va trebui sa se obisnuiasca cu ideea ca va avea un copil.
Mult spre finalul povestii vom afla ca Zeliha a fost violata de fratele ei , Mustafa, fapt ce a condus la plecarea lui in America si refuzul de a se mai intoarce la familia lui pentru 20 de ani.
Avem mai multe povesti care au cate un element comun: povestea lui Armanoush si dorinta ei de a lamuri trecutul familiei ei armene, povestea Asyei , fiica Zelihei care se simte o bastarda pentru ca nu-si cunoaste tatal.
Armanoush este cea care ii aduce pe toti in acelasi plan cand hotaraste sa plece in Istanbul la familia lui Mustafa(tatal ei vitreg) fara stirea parintilor. Armanoush vrea sa vada casa in care bunica ei a locuit, incearca sa gaseasca explicatia pentru conflictul dintre turci si armeni.
Este fermecata de familia compunsa doar din femei a lui Mustafa: mama, bunica, cele 3 surori si Asya, de care se apropie treptat, fara sa banuiasca ca vor deveni bune prietene.
Asya este asemeni mamei ei o fire nonconformista, care iubeste un barbat insurat, isi petrece timpul la cafeneaua Kundera si asculta Johnny Cash. Dorinta ei este de a afla cine este tatal ei, dorinta care se indeplineste la final dupa moartea lui Mustafa.
Istoria se imbina cu prezentul, memoria cu uitarea, durerea cu bucuria, iar aromele si mancarurile din Istanbul nu lipsesc. Fiecare capitol are denumirea unui ingredient: scortisoara, boabe de naut, zahar, alune prajite, vanilie, fistic, grau, seminte de pin, coji de portocala, migdale, caise uscate, samburi de rodie, smochine uscate, apa, stafide aurii,apa de trandafiri, orez alb.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

My Writings: Back in time(13)

These days i feel almost the same way i felt 7 years ago when i was in front of a crossroad.
Back then I decided to change how my future was about to look,now i might need to do the same.
The difference is that now I feel more afraid I don't remember this back then. It might be a fear for success because i have in front of me the change i've been waiting for.
I know for sure there will be things and people I have to give up to. I don't know if I'm ready.
So it's kind of a mess with the desire to do what I love and the fear of new and uncertain. It may be normal and I wish it was easier.
Going back 7 years I think I was willing to give up everything and start over with what I liked. It wasn't easy either , but it was all worth it.
I just need to get back to this feeling of liking the job,being motivated and challenged.I may still need to find my place.
Maybe it's time to end a cycle and start all over.

Friday, March 04, 2016

My Writings: Less is more(12)

My Dear,

Forget all the consumerist society you live in had told you...It's a fake.
Forget you think you need the latest car/dress/shoes,etc to be happy, you might be for half an hour or day, but that's all...
You sure have heard the quote: Less is more!, this is true! Take it as an experiment: give up slowly to buying more stuff, eating more food or whatever that consumes your free time.
Yes, I know, it's going to be hard in the first days, it's the same as giving up to chocolate... A habit develops in 21 days, so have a little patience.
You'll be surprised to discover how less you really need to be happy and this has nothing to do with the things you used to buy.
Focus on the activities that make you feel alive: a great concert, travelling, sports,etc. 
Spend your time with your friends, they are the ones that had seen you at your worst and still like you. Show them you still care, you manage to include them in your busy life, go to movies,drink coffee, laugh, make memories.
Don't forget that people need to be cared for and loved. It is said that you can't save people, you can only love them. The "less is more" principle doesn't apply  here.
As strong or independent you think you are, at the end of a hard day you might still need a hug from someone you love. Show them this,embrace the vulnerability and trust more.
Cry if you need , be mad, but try again tomorrow and the next day until it works. 
Also don't be too hard on yourself , there is no perfection out there, focus on being better than yesterday.
So forget the commercials, all the useless products you "must have", those heels or that dress and think of what makes you happy. Is it the look on this face when he sees you, last weekend's run, a hug from a kid?